May 28, 2025
Family means everything—no matter where you’re from. But the way we define family and the role it plays in our lives can look very different depending on the culture we grow up in. As someone raised both Filipina and American, I’ve experienced the beauty and complexity of living between two worlds. And with May being Asian Pacific American Heritage Month, it feels like the perfect time to reflect on how these cultures shape the way we love, connect, and care for the people who matter most.
In Filipino culture, family isn’t limited to your parents and siblings—it includes your cousins, grandparents, aunts, uncles, godparents, and even neighbors who feel like kin. It’s a tight-knit, often noisy, always loving network. There’s a word in Tagalog, kapwa, that roughly translates to “shared self.” It’s the idea that we’re all connected—that someone else’s well-being is also our responsibility. You see it in how we care for our elders, how we make space for distant relatives, and how we show up for each other without question.
Family gatherings in a Filipino household are big, joyful, and full of life. There’s always too much food (and somehow never enough table space), kids darting around, someone belting out karaoke, and stories being told that have been passed down for generations. But that’s part of the magic—these moments are about tradition, togetherness, and making sure no one ever feels alone.
American culture, on the other hand, often emphasizes independence. There’s a strong focus on personal achievement, self-reliance, and making your own way. Many households are made up of just parents and their kids, and extended family often lives far away. That doesn’t mean family isn’t valued—it is—but the definition is narrower, and people are usually encouraged to navigate challenges on their own.
That can be empowering, but also isolating. American culture builds resilience and confidence, but sometimes lacks the built-in support system many Filipino families take for granted. The Filipino belief that it’s okay to ask for help—and that showing up for one another is a strength, not a burden—offers a powerful reminder that we’re not meant to go through life alone.
Living at the intersection of these two identities has taught me that there’s no single “right” way to do family. Both perspectives offer something important. The American ideal of independence can spark personal growth and drive. The Filipino value of community shows us that strength often lives in connection. When blended, they create a fuller, more balanced way to live—with room for both self-sufficiency and shared belonging.
So this month, as we honor Asian Pacific American Heritage, I invite you to celebrate the spirit of Filipino family values: connection, compassion, and community. Whether it’s picking up the phone to check in on a loved one, inviting someone over for a casual dinner, or simply making space for a shared moment—these small gestures remind us that love isn’t a luxury. It’s the thread that holds us together.
Because in the end, no matter where we come from, together is a superpower.